25 things I’ve achieved this year
A comprehensive list of my successes, failures and everything in between.
So the year is pretty much over, or at least for me – I plan on completing nothing more than a bottle of champagne within the next hour.
If you’re anything like me, this time comes with a compounding feeling of both pressure and failure, happy fuckin new year to me? Frankly, this happens to me every year.
I put myself through the mental gymnastics wondering what the actual fuck I even did this year? And why do I feel like I achieved absolutely nothing?
So instead of counting my failures this year and languishing in all of the resolutions I never met; I thought I might look through the list of things I DID do.
In no particular order, here’s 25:
1. I gave up on my dream. After feeling completely heartbroken and hurt by a craft that I was supposed to love, I said fuck this. No more.
2. To my dismay, I discovered that my heart still very much wants that dream. After telling myself that I was definitely MOVING ON from flogging this horse – one step through a stage door; I felt my eyes flood and heart ache. Damn this passion.
3. I applied to over 10 agencies. Yay to me finally being brave enough to put myself out there and doing the damned thing YEEHAW.
4. I got rejected by over 10 agencies. Okay much less yeehaw here. Took a huge blow to my already quite battered ego and subsequently fell into a bit of a pit.
5. I started stand up. This one had been a lifelong plan, perhaps not as soon as it came around but hey what an incredible surprise. It’s not the main dream but a dream nevertheless and frankly a wonderful creative outlet. Although it is one of the hardest outlets I could’ve picked.
6. I went to Copenhagen alone for 4 days. Honestly one of the best things I’ve ever done, I fell in love with the city and properly looked inwards whilst I was here. Nothing like travelling with the person you love most.
7. I went to Barcelona purely for a music festival AND saw Chappell Roan live. I can die happy now. Truly. I felt like such a bad bitch making this financial decision and it was a real perspective bringer for the crazy fabulous life I now get to live. (also got to see Charli XCX and Sabrina carpenter in the subsequent days, the pop culture holy grail).
8. I showed my parents around my city. This is something I’d really wondered about since moving abroad. I was so nervous that the life I’ve spent so much time, effort and money building, would be a disappointment in their eyes. To my surprise, it was very much the opposite. I felt the comfort in having them around the corner that I haven’t had in 2 years but most of all I don’t think anything I’ve done prior to this has made them proud in the same way. Shaking the weight of suburban prophecies felt so freeing to me but scary to them, so being able to assuage their worry with my peace and joy in this crazy city – is something I’m proud of myself.
9. I went to Oktoberfest. I did go with said parents and perhaps being at schoolies/leavers with your 60 year old guardians was not the move but hey I can say I went.
10. I went to 4 new places in the UK. Edinburgh (yes, I am aware of the nuance surrounding this), Wales (and this), Norwich and Brighton – for someone who really has 0 interest in the UK outside of London; I actually found some serious beauty in these places.
11. I spent a week in Munich with my parents. Turns out spending a week in a hotel room with your parents is a challenge but we laughed, we drank and we saw the city. No complaints here.
12. I did a stand up writing course. I thought I might start taking this thing a little more seriously and refine some of the skill that I’ve just decided to have. I learnt so much and actually started to develop my process.
13. I went on 4 first dates. Hello Hot Hoe Summer!!!
14. I went on 1 second date. Survival of the fittest? Kidding, I didn’t kill them off(or did I?)… but said Hot Hoe Summer did go down the toilet.
15. I taught close to 1000 pilates classes, seeing close to 7000 faces. Jesus Christ I’m exhausted just looking at that figure. I’m lucky enough that I adore my clients, they truly make the job worth doing and pour so much love back into me.
16. I found a love for the pub. Apparently this is my favourite way to spend a Sunday evening now????
17. I spent a week in Barcelona with 2 of my best mates. The older I get (lol at me saying this at 25) the more I learn to cherish experiences like this because I know that they will become more and more fleeting. My life literally feels like a movie.
18. I discovered a love for clay. I cannot tell you how much time and money I’ve now put into this silly little craft but the difference it’s made to my mental health is tenfold. Also, making things for my friends brings me so much joy.
19. I went home for Christmas. I feel this weird pressure to grow up and properly firm having a Christmas away from home but I truly can’t do it, but both times I’ve come home I’m always so glad I did it. My nephews are becoming little people who I want to know and I want to know me, my grandparents only grow older and I know me being gone hurts them so much. So fuck being a hard ass, Christmas should feel like a warm hug.
20. I danced most weeks. This is something I never could have/ never DID do living in my home town, so it means so much that I constantly have this opportunity.
21. I went to the Edinburgh fringe festival. Another bucketlist item, turning into a new dream. My eyes were seriously opened to all kinds of eyes in a way that opened the possibilities of what my art could be.
22. I made tens of new friends. From all new places, I’ve worked hard at opening my heart enough to put myself out there especially now that I’m stepping into comedy. Making friends is the first step to networking, is it not?
23. I fell in love. Surprise! That singular second date, turned into a third and then a fourth, so on and so forth. (pretty happy with that one hehe). But I’ve truly met my best friend and someone I adore.
24. I remembered how much I love telling stories. Whether it’s comedy, song, writing – I think this was what I was meant to do (I’m vomiting in my own mouth here).
25. I started a substack. Hi, by the way. I’ve always had a thing for writing so I thought it was about time I do something about it.
Some of these carry more weight than others, but this was my year – parts of it was silly. Is that not the natural projection of life? Let’s see what the next one will bring.
See you next year,
The UnderQualified Thinkpiece.
